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Repent
Okay...I went a little over board with the hating on THAT BOI. I couldn't help it. I despise him to no end, I believe that will never change though he did crack me up in that molla camera thing where he though Matthew was hurt. I'm sorry but to watch him bawl like that was pretty damn funny. Yeah I still hate him. The problem is....I failed to note what my hate would do to someone I love very much. I guess....Kara can understand how much I hate him, and no matter how she prasies him, I will never EVER look in his genral direction as anything more then THAT BOI. I spoke to Kara today....and after everyone was warning me, she's going to kill you, you're dead, you're in deep shit...and even my own fear, I expected the worse, some horrible plot on Kara's behave to get back at me and my own beloved. Much to my shock....Kara took it well in stride. She wasn't even mad. She said she was use to it. I'm use to her screaming, ranting, raving, yelling at me and making me like smaller then a speck of dirt...but for her to take in stride and good humor made me feel about a million times worse. I swear I saw her IM come up on my screen and before I looked at it, my hands got ice cold, my throat went dry because I was honostly expecting Kara to tell me she hated me and that she never wanted to talk to me again. I wouldn't have blamed her. Though I think gradullay over the course of some time, she would have forgiven me. Like in a million years or so...but anyway, that's what i thought. She said she wasn't mad. And that scared me more then anything in the world. I also can't help but feel when even worse when I found a friend of hers recently passed away. Talk about timing. -shakes head- I swear I can be so stupid some times. And I really hate myself. Pretty words can't make up for it either. And though Kara sayz shes not mad...I'm mad at myself. I over reacted, in the same way I always do, and went a little overboard... -cough- okay not a little....enough, and I'm quoting my dongsang Jin Hee on this "itz bad for neone who remotely liked sunghoon...since u totally ripped him to shreds." Okay I did. And I realzie now that if I want to be mature and grown and walk down that aisle wit my baby Taya and see Matthew one day, and have Kara at my side like all my other friends, sooner or later, I'm gonna have to learn to stomach THAT BOI....as much as I hate to say it. Taya is his friend...T.T Matthew loves him too...T.T and Kara loves him too....no matter how I look at it, I have to stomach him. So I'll take the first step and begin to...stomach his presense....well it's start. Who knows....maybe one day I'll call him by his name. For Kara... One Luv~* Thursday, January 11, 2001 - 08:14 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
A Song For Lady...
A Song For Lady is a song written by Moon Hee Jun on H.O.T 5th Album, They Are Not Different From Us, track number 5. When I first heard the song, I didn't (surprisingly enough) didn't cry. I thought it was beautiful. I loved how most of it was a JunTa duet excpet for little Tony parts here an there an Jae Won doing the heavy voice over all sexy like. Today I saw the MV (Music Video for those that are not down)for it and it was soooo beautiful. Sad too. I'm not gonna spoil the story for those that haven't seen the whole thing yet, but it was so good. Everyone looked good. Rocking white suites and ties with powder blue button down shirts underneath. =D~~~~~~~~ Taya was blonde *my Baby!* Hee Jun had purple hair, Hyukie was a red head *sexay* Um I forgot Tony cuz I was like dying after that espically when I saw Jae Won who had a lighter version of a blonde...kinda white? But at any rant they all looked. Kinda had lipstick on though...like Jae Won and Hee Jun had it on kinda thick. But thas okay cuz they have nice lips! ^____^ Taya was sexy as hell. Rocking the blonde in his new hair cut. GOD I could WEEP at his beauty. Actually I did cry. He came on the screen, my heart skipped a beat. Then he sang OMG..forget it, my eyes got all watery. Then he said I love you...I started crying so hard. Forget it, I was gone. I hate when that happens. It never fails that in every H.O.T CD there is a song Taya sings on that makes me cry. Like in 1st Jib was How Much I need you (I will not butcher the Korean Language by writtin it in Korean) Then 2nd Jib Free To Fly, 3rd Jib Promise of H.O.T (mostly cuz in da concert he dressed up as a angel T.T forget I can't even WATCH that let alone hear it) 4th Jib Celebrate. OMG can NOT hear that song. I cry too much. and 5th Jib, Pray for You and Always My Love and only th Video for Song For Lady. For those that haven't seen it...boy are you missing out. Go find it!!!!!! It's online somewheres....I got it on the H.5.T forum which I don't feel like linking at this moment cuz I'm kinda tird, cold and sniffly. People would not believe the reactions I got about my earlier blog. Boy I'm scared too because of Kara does not pay attention to my warning and reads it anyway...she's gonna hang me. PLEASE KARA DON'T READ IT. IT'S NOT FOR YOU!!!!!! Aigo... Okay, Imma go now. Mostly cuz it's late and I have to get off online soon. Still miss ya Kara~ One Luv~* Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 11:33 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
NOT FOR KARA....
This blog was a long tym coming...I got lazee an mostly because Kara hasn't annoyed me with THAT BOI, I haven't had a chance to hate on him for a while. T.T But last night, he ruined my magazine. I recently found out that pompus, arrogant, self centered, self adoring, wang ja byung, concedied, bitchy looking, flamming, punk ass, I-could-bitch-slap-you-and-make-you-cry prissy boi, WISHES he could be wit Ji Won and a straight up fag not because he LOOKS gay but because he's just a little prick BOI I WISH WOULD DIE AND I LOATH...(can you tell I hate him?) HAS a SPREAD in Music Life 1. T.T WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY....WHY must he continuly RUIN my life...well not my life I wouldn't give him the satifcation, but my FAV MAGAZINE with my H.O.T Booklet in it. WHY?? WHY Couldn't it be Ji Won?? Why not G!!!!!! OMG and you know it's NEVER gonna stop. The self appointed president of his own fan club would never stop jumping in front of a camra so I could see his dorky ass grin that just makes me wanna punch him dead in his eye. AND watch, he's gonna b on all my fav shows like Music Bank, Inky gayo etc...UGH....WHY did he have to continue SINGING -as if he could in the first place when he was Jekkie- like if certain people WANTED or NEEDED to see his bitch ass EVERY FUCKIN WHERE....T.T No of course not. He couldn't retire gracefully and just...you know...go bald or grow old...NO he saw Ji Won coming back so he had too. NEWSFLASH Ji Won HAS TALENT. This is why he contiuned....wtf did THAT BOI ever have but the nerve to jump in front of a camara. UGH... And to make matters worse, Kara hung me with my own words. For Christmas, I sent her some THAT BOI pics...and to make her holiday, I sed something nice about him. T.T Which I will NEVER EVER AS LONG AS THE EARTH MOVES AND THE SUN BURNS EVER say again. I said, he took a nice black and white picture. T.T Well I'm one to admit it. His head was down you couldn't see his face and there was A LOT of shadowing. I sed that to Kara cuz I love her an it was the holidays....and she quoted me and cruxified me with those words...T.T I'm not mad...just really embrassed. Embrassed because I dared to say something nice about THAT BOI. Never again......EVER. I'm so unhappy. AND to make matters EVEN worse, I went to see Kara's blog to see if she blogged and there were pics of THAT BOI THERE IN PLAIN VIEW. My eyes... X_X Vision was quickly restored after I saw my Taya. T.T so I feel a little better. Ugh....I just so hate THAT BOI. And Kara if you read this anyway, I'm really sorry you did. You shouldn't have. I apologize a million times...but not for THAT BOI, but because I made you sad. Okay I'm done wasting tym. I gotta go write. I vented long enough. One Luv~* Wednesday, January 10, 2001 - 06:58 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Feedback
Okay, I'm not one to brag because I'm actually very humble about my work. (We're all aware of this) I don't like a lot of what I write but I do my best. ^_^ And so I thank my fans that have so lovingly attachted themselves to my work and call it gold when it's just okay. ^^;;; But anyway, I just got a BAD review for the first time. I mean no review is better then a bad one because maybe, there's a small chance people didn't read what I wrote right? Well I got this email today, by this person. I don't know who it is, but someone who read my work, and I won't give out her email addy. She sent me feed back on a fic that I co-wrote with Kara called Last Night. From what me and Kara gathered it was held as a classic. A three way, long PWP with graphic content. Mind you, there is a clear warning in front of the damn fic, stating that it is VERY GRAPHIC. I mean we can't state it any clearer. Also we tell people NOT to flame us because well...we warned you damnit. You should have enough common sense to know that graphic, sexual things will happen in a three way orgy!!!!!!! >.< But I wander from subject yet again. I'm just really pissed that after all the positve things we both heard from Last night, I get this crap. I'm copying and pasting the email, it is not in anyway adjusted. I got this today... Ewwwwww!!!!! God, that was so nastie....God but kinda funnie...I copied it and gave it to my friend who realli, REALLI likes KangTa...hahaha...Gotta see her expression tomorrow....But still....EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! Although funnie... Um excuse me???? FUNNY????? I do believe this work was written to entertain but not to make some one laugh. If it was disgusting and appaling then why the hell would you keep reading it??? -shakes head in frustration- My first reaction to this email was, confustion. I wasn't too sure how I should feel about it. Second reaction and the feeling I'm going with is anger. I'm not here to amuse you...well sometimes I am but NOT in a fic like LAST NIGHT. OMG... Is it me or can people still be so brain dead you just wanna kick them?? This is one of those, I wish i could kick you moments. I'll blog again if she DARES to write me back again after I send her what I have to think. At first I didn't wanna come across as a bitch, but like...NOW...I really don't give a fuck. I don't take to negative shit too well. If you didn't like something, keep it to yourself. If you were offended by something, I warned you. Don't flame me to tell me, oh that offended me because I'll just say, Mofo I warned you. Yeah I'm pissed. I hate people like that. And I wish Kara could talk to me now. Mostly so I can explain how pissed off I am. Well not like she didn't get it now. -shakes head again- I'm off to write...my head is starting to hurt too. I need a drink... One Luv~* Tuesday, January 9, 2001 - 09:02 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Missing You....
There are a certain amount of people in my everyday life I start to miss for some reason or another. Even if I only spoke to them yesterday, or whatever, I start to miss people. It's natural right. I should be in a good mood...and I kinda am...but I still can't help in think bout much I miss my favorite people espically when I'm being annoyed by people I wish I COULD miss. T.T Can we say annoyance??? I miss Kara soooooo much. I haven't had a chance to speak to her in a good long time. She started class again so shes not on holiday anymore. She's always busy though. I just want you to know Kara that I love you muchies and I miss you!!! I'm gonna think back on the laughes we had to get me through my more annoying days. You know how those people can get. And even though my eyes could freeze from rolling them so many times when you talk about THAT BOI...I still love ya. And I miss you so much I'd give anything to talk to you. Even if all you're gonna do is talk about how much you like THAT BOI. Boi I really miss Kara can you tell??? I miss Haya. I miss my Babydoll, hentai freak, psycho, slightly off adorable Babydoll that looks like J. I seem to talk about her in almost every blog but hey, shes one of my more favorite people that I always miss and wish I was talking to instead of the annoying person I'm speaking too. Haya you remember that money gripping boitch that was hounding me? Well I finally paid her and now she'll send me the shit I paid for like million of years ago. Geez bout time. Anyway, miss you too Babydoll. I sent you Angel Egg part 5 btw. Damn Hyukie is so fukin sexy. I wanna lick lick lick him from his head to his toes...I wanna move from the bed down down down to the floor and I wanna *ah ah* he makes it soo good I don't wanna leave...but I gotta know know know what's his fantasy....mine is being wit him an Taya...or maybe just him an Taya. >D *Perv...mwahahah* I miss my best friend D. She's in Kali now. I miss D so much!!!!!!! Ugh I can't even begin to explain the big old hole in my heart from where she use to be. *sigh* I miss my Taya. Who at this very moment if I think about how much I love him, I will burst into tears. I miss Ji Hoon, who use to be a friend of mine...but now has vanished. I miss a lot of things and a lot of people right now that I wish I could talk to and do nothing more then perk up my mood. Because aigo am I ever being annoyed. >.< On a much lighter subject, I saw Kaiken Phrase today. Which was really funny because I paid a visit to No Shadow's blog page and I saw that she had written a summary on Kaiken Phrase and she said it was bad. Hahah I thought it was pretty good. Not the best shit I've seen but still pretty damn good. Lots of bishies. Speaking of bishies, I love that guy (and yes it is a guy if you haven't seen Kara's blog page) On Kara's blog. ^__^ He's pretty yet still attractive? o.O did that make sense? Okay well anyway, I luv bishies too though i think I will never reah the level Kara is on. And yes Kara you are right, Trunks 4rm DBZ is hot as hell and so is Android 17? I can never remember the number. Hahaha But the boy android though. (Duh) *SIGH* I miss the guy convo wit Kara. Even though it somehow always ended up wit Kara talkin bout THAT BOI. >.< ugh you people would not have to believe that sick fandom of Kara. It's really umm...ewwy. I mean, not to say he's ugly -looks off to the side- but he's so not my type. I don't see it. I can't find him to be and I'm quoting Kara on this "The most beautiful man." T.T Oroooo.... @.@ Yeah...but I still miss Kara. ^___^ She knows I jest. I don't mean this in anyway shape or form -crosses fingers behind back....flees in terror from a knife wielding Kara- Which reminds me...I miss my Gizmo dongsang. T.T Jung Hye!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you too. And Stephiee...*sigh* I'm listening to Gackt's Secret Garden (which makes me think about Kara cuz she met him...-mumbling..lucky brat- and Haya because me an her wanna eat him an his sexy self. And I miss D all over again because about this time she would call me a perv. Hahahaha I also miss my oppas in Korea...Christopher aka the KPkiD, Hye Sung, Chun Hae, David...my oppa in NY, Jin Sun...T.T aish Im jus not too happy. Happy thoughts!!!!!! Ohh Kang Ta hoola hoopin...Hyukie break dancing...in boxers....Junie smacking his lips..Gackt in a bed wit a sheet...and just a sheet...Jun Jin doing a strip tease...-closes eyes and thinks happy hentai thoughts- Mwhahahaha >D Okay I feel better. Catch you people laterz~ I must go look for some pics of Yuki from Kaiken Phrase! ^_____^ One Luv~* Monday, January 8, 2001 - 11:24 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Movies...the dissapointing and the great...
Okay today, I went to the movies and dinner with a friend of mine who came home from college on holiday. It was great considering how much I miss her and miss our conversations and such. She's a good friend. Anyway, we went out and stuff, cracked up, I drove, and badly mind you. But I made it back alive. (Thank God) Choice of movie was Dracula 2000. I'm not a big Wes Craven fan because frankly everything he does is crap. But I had to see his take on the famous Bram Stoker's Dracula. And it was bad. Awful awful crap. Snaps, however to the orignal origin of Dracula though. That was creative. But anyway, otherwise I knew it was going to be bad. I'm a big fan of the story of a vampire, but only Intreview with a Vampire was the best vampire movie, and with the upcoming Queen of the Dammned, I can onlee hope it's just as good. The only other vampire movie that follows is Bram Stoker's Dracula, the 1994-95? version with Winona Rider, Antony Hopkins, Gary Olman and *SIGH* that guy 4rm Speed. (rather then screw spelling his name I'll jus say that ^_^) Anyway, it was good excpet for the former Bill and Ted star making it seem like a Kali actor going "Dude, this is so not cool and stuff. Like...that guy totally just died.." So other then that it was good. Intreview is still my fav vamp movie. Seen it 7 tym in a row when I first got it on tape and I got it on DvD now. ^__^ Eternal life. ^^ I love that movie there isn't a scene I don't know by heart. ^_^ Also I read the book a few times, but Lestat was ALWAYS my fav. It was even better when I got to see him brought to flesh in the movie. WHICH I LOVED. For those that haven't seen this movie yet GO RENT,BORROW,BUY, WHATEVER just go watch it. If for a shallow reason, watch it for Brad Pitt. So other then a really good time with a friend, finally leaving my house for a few hours, and a good dinner it more then made up for the bad movie. The effects where good, the guy that played Dracula, was a little untraditional considering Dracula's hair is pictured long, and he had a little too much knowledge of the modern world for someone who was trapped in a coffen (watch the movie you'll get what I mean) for like hundreds of years, and there was some plot holes with the daughter. I'm not excatly sure how she played in...I have guesses, but if you gotta watch a movie and get confused, then it wasn't very good. *SIGH* I'm very picky with my movies...I miss some of the good ones. Red Violin was good. Seven was good, Total Eclipse was good American Beauty was good and of course Intreview was damn good. I feel like a movie critic but hey, I'm tired of modern day dribble like, "She's All That" or "Titanic" or "Drive Me Crazy" or "Clueless". -.-;;;;;; Geez...when bad movies like that get brillant reviews I can't help but wanna throw up. ugh. However I will applaud ONE bad movie. Age Of Peace. Now you know that's love when you give snaps to a bad movie just because Kang Ta was in it with a bad hair style nonetheless. ^^;;;;;;;;;; Hey, he can act. So can Hee Jun...they just should have picked a better movie to show said acting skills.... One Love~* Saturday, January 6, 2001 - 11:55 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Sexy V.S Cute
Okay, I'm still on the topic of Sex. I'm feeling very weird today. Hahahaha~ Right so, on to the subject at hand. Sexy vs Cute. You can and can not be both. Let's start with sexy~* Now first and formost we start off with the Sexy Guy himself, my baby, Kang Ta. ^___^ *does 1Tym dance* Just look at that face...that body... Then of course there's Taya's many beautiful faces...He looks so damn foine in most of those pics... *SIGH* I can go on FOREVER about how sexy Taya can be. But as sexy as he is, he can be cute. Example...A little dorky but cute over all.. But he can't be hardcore. He looks a little akward being hardcore...but he plays it well when he has too. It's just not his thing. Being sexy with a hoola hoop is his thing. >D MWhahaha Apart from Taya, Jun Jinnie 4rm Shinhwa is sexy! Those ABS. OMG the flexablity...=O~~~~ But I'll let this pic do the talking for me... He's so damn sexy...Ahhh I wish I had a pic of him showing skin. But anyway, he can't be adorable. i can't see Sexy Jun Jinnie being adorable or cute. He's like..too sexy. I think it's the stare. ^_^ Sends shivers down one's spine. ^__^ To me anyway...^^;;;; Coming back to H.O.T Jang Woo Hyuk is SEXY!!! OHHHHHH Me and Haya spent sum tym talkin bout his over all sexiness. MWhahaha and what Haya would love to do to him...Mwhahaha. You can read that, here.. Haya's very inticing what I would give to fuck Hyukie. >D Anyway, Hyukie is also sexy as hell. Just look. Making glasses and a uniform look so yummy... And for reasons like this.. =O~~~ I'd fuck him too. But AFTER my Taya. Just to be fair, Hyukie CAN be damn cute too. SOOOO freaking cute. Ahhh CANDY JJANG!! So cute!!! But he does the hardcore, sexy thing A WHOLE LOT BETTER >D Besides Taya, and Hyukie in H.O.T I think Jae Wonnie has grown into a fine example of sexiness. >D that sounds funny. But hey look for URselves. Can we say all grown up? Yes, Our little Wonnie can be oh so foine now. But I honostly think he was NOT an adorable looking kid. >.< No no. He was never cute to me up until the 4th jib, where he suddenly got oh so pretty and very bishie looking >D~~~ Then little Wonnie didn't look so little anymore. MWhahahaha. I WISH I had a pic of Wonnie during TooJi because he looked SO DAMN FUCKIN PRETTY through that era. DAMN. Now I gotta search. But no, he did not make an adorable or cute kid. >.< Veryhard on the eyes when he was growing up. Breaking apart from H.O.T and SM all together, Eun Ji Won a former Jekkie, is lookin mighty sexy. ^_^ Yes, Ji Won has always been my personal fav 4rm Jekkie. Mostly cuz he's jus so damn hot, but it was my personal thoughts, that I thought he was the onlee one with real talent. *flees from Kara* But ANYWAY we're talking bout how sexy he is. Proven point... This is a very...suggestive pic to me.. And I like it a lot. I gotta get one where he's showing skin. Mwhahahaha. Then there's this pic where his hair is longer. That guy above him is Jiyong. Also kinda hot. But can Ji Won be cute? Sure I guess he can. I seen him act a fool many tymz already. Sum how it's very adorable on hi. ^_^ So yes like a few people, he can do the, "I'm a sexy hardcore mofo that can be funny too." hehehehe He does it well. Bringing it back to SMtown, but for the moment moving it AWAY from the sexiness, let's talk about people that can ONLY be cute. In my thoughts, Moon Hee Jun is the cutest smooshyest, funniest guys I've ever seen. He's not to on the sexy side, but he can be if he smacks his lips. I mean Look... You can't get sexy from this.. hehe maybe he can be...this is pretty close.. Kinda sexy... but then he's not funni. -.-;;; I don't have any pics of Min Woo, 4rm Shinhwa but he's funny, cute, adorable AND sexy. But not all at once. It's hard to do all three. I'm lacking in my Shinhwa member pics so as soon as I scan sum more, they'll be up just to prove my point. Hehehhee. And finally to wind it down, we talk about sexy, yet funny 1Tym. Funny 1Tym... And sexy 1Tym... Sexy except Baekkyoung who decided to be a fool... See, they can be both. ^_^ and that's what makes me love them too. BTW I got the 2nd pic from Ailyna Eye Teasers, so don't steal and credit to her. And FINALLY, moving away from Korea completly, we have Gackt Camui. -drooling- The very essence of sex. Case in point.... Yeah I can't see him being funni or cute. he's just sexy. Sexy sexy sexy. Mwhahahaa Okay I guess I'm done now. The point is it's hard to be sexy and cute. Some do it well, some do just one well and some just do none well. ^^;;;;;;; I just had to let my mind run loose on this subject. Mwhahaha BTW Kara I like my layout thanks. You know I love it. But I dunno..maybe later on it'll b tym for a change ne? When UR not busy and killing yourself of course. ^_^ Yeah I figured out html sorta...hahahaha ^__^ Good for me!! Thankies Haya...^__^ Oi...it's late...I better be going. Now I get to go to sleep with thought of sexy men in my mind. >D I'm having good dreams tonight... One Luv~* Friday, January 5, 2001 - 11:19 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
To Watch Taya Hoola Hoop....
I didn't blog yesterday. I didn't feel like it too much but now....oh man thanks to Lita, I really wanna blog. -pointing to title- Well....in my last blog, I talked about how much I wanted to see Taya hoola hoop. Oh yeah because I noticed during 2nd jb, WRTF Taya got sum hips and boi can he moved them..=D~~~~no no wait...okay coming back. Anyway, I always wanted to watch him move his hips like that in a regual motion...but hoola hoopiong works best. MWahahaha So sexy. Anyway Lita, my lovely little dongsang decided to make me a tape with YES Taya hoola hooping. I get to watch his foine ass move around and around...and round...and round...and round... X_X Okay soiwee, I'm back. So just to watch ONE of my Fantasies come troo is great and wonderful. Now I can just get Hyukie to breakdance/stripshow for me down to his boxers and give Junie a glass of Welshes grape juice to smack his big lush, full, oh so SUCKABLE lips...and if I can sit an talk to Tony for a while, and get Jae Won to hold my hands...I can be forever happy. Plus I'd take pictures and have matreial to write fics from now until I'm 50.... God I'm such a perv!!!!! Hahahaha but you know...I like it >D What can be better then being a perv? It's so much freedom. And I guess maybe that's why I wanna watch my Taya hoola hoop and be sexy...cuz that's so...suggestive. >D Hyukie is sexy, Eun Ji Won aka MATTHEW is sexy, Danny and Jin Hwan 4rm 1Tym are sexy,Jun Jinnie, Dong Wan, and Min Woo are sexy...and like...the rest of H.O.T. >D If I could rule the whole world, and maybe some day I will, I will make a long list for what the sexy men of this world, gasoos first, can do for me. Let's see....I'll need a hoola hoop, a radio with breakin techno music, some hand lotion, a glass of Welshes Grape juice.... Friday, January 5, 2001 - 03:43 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Angel Egg
I started work on this fic....and I was really hyped about it, but since Haya is the only one reading it for now, I'm not sure what else I should do with it. It's gonna be like a mini-series...jus like 10 or 15 chaps. *yawn* I'm hungry... I was thinking about it the other day, it's good Angel Egg didn't get good reviews because this brings me down some. Sometimes, I get a little attention hungry and I love hearing what people think about my work since most of the time, I hear its good so I get air head like. But this brings me back down to earth and this way I can know that not everything I write is gold. Not even a crushing blow to my ego because I don't have one. I think some peoples work is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better then mine. And that's okay too. It makes me strive to be just as good as them. I'm so hungry.... I had a battle with Angelpop again. I really hate them. Now I have store credit so I bought Music Life One. Now they'll prolly tell me it's sold out AGAIN. That's why angelpop sucks. Fuck you Angelpop. Anyway, I'm really hungry. Today after reading Kara's little blog page, I checked some of the other blogs she reads like No Shadow's. That's just funny because it seems that everyone has a sense of humor and is more witty then me. -pout- But that's okay. -smile- I was never witty all that much anyway. I wish I would of thought of a more creative name for this blog. I think I like Angel Egg. I have no idea why...hmmm well anyway back to the matter at hand, I searched through a lot of the blog pages, so not only are these people more witty then me, but their layout is nicer. -pout- Well I like this one...but I dunno..maybe it's just me. Kara did this for me! So Kara when you read this, I LOVE this layout! But I'm just feeling self concious. Hehehhee I wish I knew how to thumbnail other then sticking big ol pics in here. Heheheh But I had to do that for the Delphain poster. I'm very proud of that. Okay, my hunger has won, and I'm gonna eat then work on Angel Egg for Haya. Hahahah And oh yeah, no luck yet with finding Pastel 12. Serena tried, but sadly they were out in NY. -sigh- I'm still trying though. ^_^ One Luv~* Wednesday, January 3, 2001 - 10:03 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Completion of Delphain
A year ago, Haya, Kuwami and I met. We all went into a chat room and exchanged SNs and email addies and started work on our newest fic, Delphain. We wrote, and did a lot of other things in between, and due to hectic scheduals and conflicting time zones, Delphain was put on pause for a long long time. But now, today, on this very date, what once started as a quick project, is now what I consider one of my greatest works. Delphain is complete. It is only 20 chaps, but 20 chapters of some of the best work ever compiled between the three of us. I'm not sure what anyone of my cowritters will do with Delphain, and I'm not even sure myself what I'll do with it. Maybe I'll start posting it in the G-fic ML, but that seems so dead now a days that I'm not sure it would get the attention it deserves. As soon as Kara is not busy, she'll post it in Purachina and Haya will post it in Anew, her own page. Delphain, which means "darkness" is a dark, angest HyukTa fic which focuses on a lot of mental pain and anguish. Not for the soft of heart because it does contain a lot of violence. The story is mostly from Woo Hyuk's point of view but does shift to Kang Ta's point of view. As soon as clear plans for this fic are made, it will finally be open to the public. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I would hope they would. And also, know that the three of us, worked on this fic and for the time being is still unreleased through it's completed. ^_^ I'm very proud as you can tell and this  Is the poster for Delphain. Lovely huh? Haya made that so much props to her. Since I'm still talking about fics, then I will also say work on Angel Egg has finally been started, but the reviews where not what I hoped, so it will be currently unreleased until I figure out what to do with it. I never scrap anything as you can tell ^^;;;;; hehehehe Well the pride and joy will end here for now. ^_^ I have other fics I should work on. Later~ One Luv~* Tuesday, January 2, 2001 - 09:34 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
If I had All the Money In the World....
Hey everyone~ I didn't blog yesterday which was bad. I was use to doing it everyday it felt weird not being able to do. =P Bah but anyway, I've been having the best thoughts since then. Before my usual rants I just want to say my new years sucked. I spent it at home in my jammies, with my parents gettin drunk. Haha just playing I can hold my liquior. Anyway, besides that someone asked me, a little while ago, if you had all the money in the world what would do with it? That's an easy question. I'd pay H.O.T to do certain things for me. I'd pay Kang Ta to hoola hoop for me for a few hours. I'd pay Jae Won to hold my hands for a while. I'd pay Hyukie to break dance in his boxers I'd pay for all the dirt Tony is holding on Hyukie. And Hee Jun...he has the best one. I'd pay for him to drink a glass of Welshes Grape juice and smack his big full lush lips a couple of times. That would be bliss. I always wondered what everyone else would pay to get them to do. But I think whatever amount of money I paid to watch Taya hoola hoop would be worth it. I could die a happy person if I would watch him do that. Can we say New Year's wish? I'm kinda dizzy. I had like three or four glasses of wine with my parents...@-@ not feeling the best effects of it now. But anyway, I should get writting. I want to start Angel Egg even though my dad was being icky the other day an started yelling at me. =P Jerk....but thats okay. I have to have dinner soon. That's okay though. I can write a little bit before I go. So I hope everyone has a Happy New Year and had fun. Later people. I'll blog later... Monday, January 1, 2001 - 08:22 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
DONE
I finished!!! I finally finished writting Mo Deun Gut...well wut I lost anyway. And I even wrote a new chapter. I ressumed sending out today. ^____^ I am very pleased. I also ressumed work on Scars, my newest fic. I only have 6 parts 2 date but it's a rather complex fic. I have a feeling a lot of people are just gonna go HUH? o.O when they read it. Hehehe hopefully I won't have to exlpain myself too much. ^^;;;; The important thing is, is that I finally finished Mo Deun Gut. I'm all caught up. Now I'm back to normal. It snowed like crazy mad in Jerzee today. So much that it was like next to impossible for anyone to leave their house. It was pretty cool. I love snow but I don't wanna be buried in it...I hope that it stops snowing and starts melting real soon. I need to get out of my house before I get cabin fever. Well...I don't really leave my house when there is no snow but still that's because I can. If I couldn't...then I wanna leave. Hehehehee I'm a homebody what can I say? It's new years eve tomorrow and YES I will go on for the 2nd year without having a boyfriend. Sucks don't it. TWO YEARS....no boyfriend. *SIGH* I don't need one. I just really want one. It's like....yeah I don't need that brand new illustrated hardcover imported from Japan X art book that cost 60$....but I really want it. Anyway, besides all that I have two ideas for short fics. I have to say my titles for someone...I can't keep my mouth shut. One will be called Angel Egg. Weird title I know. But if anyone watches anime, they know where I got it from. The next fic...which will more then likely be a pwp, will be called Trix. Yes like the cereal. You'll see why when I'm done. If I ever get around to having a slice of time to write. Hahahah actually that's all I have is time. Anyway, besides those two, I will FINALLY finish Delphain. Delphain is a fic that has been a year in the making. It's almost done too. ^___^ Well I'm going to wish everyone a happy new year. Hope everything goes well for ya. And hope all your wishes come true for ya ^^ But if you're wishing for Kang Ta, give it up. He's mine. OH and besides all that, Emanuel, this GUY author that co-wrote The Fragile with me, will finally make his glorious comeback in my forum with his new fic, Petals Bleu. It may seem like a normal fic, but it gets to be a g-fic eventually. I recommend that once it's posted that you guys read it. I had a taste of it and it's really good. His absense from the writting word has definatly made his work better. Okay that's about it. I'm done for tonight. One Luv~* Saturday, December 30, 2000 - 11:44 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Quickly...
Hey~* Okay I'm happy...about as happy as one can be in my given situation. Today I wrote up to chapter 16 in my fic! Just two more chaps to go before I'm all caught up!!! I'm also VERY happy now because my friend Serena, is going to get me Pastel 12 from NY. ^.^ She lives there. She's the best! Luv luv luv luv... I have to be really really happy. Now. I may be done updating Mo Deun Gut sooner then I thought and that's great! That means work on both Delphain AND Scars can ressume. Oh yeah...that's so good. I guess the only really bad thing is that there is gonna be a BIG giant snow storm. T.T I like snow but now when I'm buried in it. I also worry about my friend Chelle who is in NY and there's a big warning over there about flooding. -.-;;;;;; Oh man I hope it doesn't snow as much as it says it will. I also worry about my boi Te. He wanted to go to a party tomorrow (not with me) and I told him not too, so that way if it snows as bad as it said it will, then I wouldn't worry. Okay thats the bad news. But the good out weighs the bad. And that's always good. By tomorrow I should be all caught up with Mo Deun Gut and I can ressume work on my other fics. YES. *does 1Tym dance* Okay thats all I have tym for. I didn't get to talk to Kara today. Boo. -pouts- I miss you Kaaaaaaaaraaaaaa. hehehe Later everyone~ One Luv~* Friday, December 29, 2000 - 09:47 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Free Promo
Before I start on Mo Deun Gut today for this afternoon, I will talk about how I'm reading two of the best Gundam Wing fics I have ever read. The first one often found in Yaoi No Hentai's Hidden Vault, (I'd link ya but I'm still learning the html for this crap), is called Pieces. A 4x5, 3x4 implied, 1x2 implied. For those not up on Gundam Terms, I'll brief ya real quick ^.~* 1x2 or 2x1= Heero and Duo or Duo and Heero. Heero is 1 Duo, 2. 3x4= Trowa (that's 3) and Quatre (4) 5x13= Wufei and Treize Okay anway, so Pieces is written by *kelley* and she's doing damn well. I love this fic. She takes forever writting, but it's worth the wait. Then after Pieces, is Silence. A 1x2 fic written by Plaid Dragon. THAT can be found in Kara's Spandex and Braids forum page thingy. The fic is really good too. I can't begin to describe the idea Plaidragon got the idea for this. I wish I would have thought of it. -pouts- After my fav Gundam fics, there's H.O.T fics! Besides my own, which I think most suck, I really liked Kara's I Hope You Don't Know. Found in Kara's Purachina, a TonHyuk. I'm sure everyone knoes these terms. Anyway, besides that I read this one called Paint it Black. *does 1Tym dance* That was translated by Sue, and I found that in the FFL. Like I sed, no links I suck at linking. Then Chaconne in G-Minor, also translated by Sue, I don't even know where that can be found. Moonlight Shadow by Dreamworld in my forum, and again Touch of Love by Kara. Kara's gonna hate me for mentioning her fics, but you know what, I like it. So tough. Besides H.O.T fics, I read a couple Jekkie ones. Amour, by Igraine, Folding Roses by Kongnahmool, anything by Jekkie Girl and Secrets by JinHee.(I jus realzied there are 2 Jekkie fics called Secrets the other one is written by kongnahmool) Everything except for Secrets *by JinHee* is found at jekkie premonition run by Esca. All these fics are my fav. I luv a lot of these fics even though THAT BOI was in most of these...well that's okay...I GUESS -looks off to the side- ANYWAY no more THAT BOI talk, I luved what Kara and Haya co-wrote with me in Delphain. Delpahin is a currently unreleased fic that is being cowritten with me and I LOVE wut these too wrote. It's good (though they claim no.) This title makes more sense then my last blog. Hahahaha I feel better. No more pain. If I sit here long enough I will be in pain. heheh God I'm old...-.-;;;;;; One Luv~* Friday, December 29, 2000 - 03:58 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
What's Your Fantasy?
Intresting title yes I know. The truth of the matter I feel a lot better from this afternoon. Why? Well mostly because from the time of my last blog, I started work on chapter 9 from my fic that was erased and I am now on 14. Just four more chaps, and I'm back where I was. I may actually be done by tomorrow. Which is always good. I was listening to Ludacris's song What's Your Fantasy and it also brings up a good topic because every now and then I need ideas for fics. This one gave me the idea to write a PWP, (for those not up on terms PWP stands for Plot? What Plot?) And I laugh because my imagination is way too...umm creative we shall say for the time being. Tomorrow, in the afternoon, I will leave my nice warm house and go outside in the freezing cold, to go buy a puffy envelope and a box for two really late Christmas gifts I have to mail out and also see a friend I haven't seen in a while. Also to get my book back. Can you believe his Christian mother is holding MY Vampire Chronical Encyclopidia hostage. Why? Because it's evil apparently. My thoughts on that is if it's evil, then why is a God fearing woman holding on to it rather then casting it out of her house? I lent that to a friend...well...that showed me. Last time I lend books out to friends. I fear for the saftey of my books. Their parents might take them hostage and I may have to buy the same book for the 3rd time. Anyway, I'm starting to sense how I'm blogging and my title has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. That may be because my knee hurts, my hands are freezing, my eyes sting, my friend who I usually talk to on the phone until all hours of the night is now not here but in NY, and my back hurts. I'm not in the best of mood to write about sex, though usually since I am Empress of Lemons, I should always been in said mood to write. Heavy is the crown I wear. I have five minutes left. Kara left me to watch some tapes, Haya is blogging herself, Emanuel is silent and the night is done. Tomorrow once I get all that crap out of the way and convince the God fearing woman to give me back my book I'll continue writting and if someone loves me, I'll be done as early as Sunday. Well hopefully Satuerday because on Sunday I'm not online long because I have to watch Queer as Folk on Showtime at 10. The on HBO I have to watch OZ's session premire at 11. Back to back good shows all around. So hmmm if I want to be done sooner then a week I better pull my weight and get writting really fast tomorrow. Did I mention how much I appericate all the people that emailed me with concern. God I love you guys! I wouldn't do this without you all. ^___^ Thanks for the support. Speaking of support my spine is giving out so I'm done for tonight. Until tomorrow ^.~* One Luv~* Thursday, December 28, 2000 - 11:42 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
More Frustration T.T
Today started off pretty okay. I went to the mall after a long over due needed trip. I have not been to the mall in like forever. I'm a mall-rat wut can I say. Anywayz, it was pretty cool. I didn't eat though for like many days...anywayz, besides that, I was dressed down no one really cute in the mall on a Thursday afternoon. Well that's not what's important. The thing that is important is that when I got home and checked my email I saw alot of people cared about when since my disk ate my fic. I got over the anger, it just gives me a chance to improve it. What am I frustrated about you ask? ANGELPOP SUCKS. I ordered Pastel 12 like a million years ago, before it went out of sale and NOW they tell me TODAY that they ran out of stock. Yesasia doesn't sell Pastel and Music-Plaza is also out of stock. But like I said to Haya, I'd sell my soul to get that magazine. It shows how much I love my Kang Ta. I wanted a friend of mine, who went to New York to get that magazine for me, but she didn't pick up her cell phone...T.T But I will get it. I WILL get it. I'm so upset. But I need to start writting. Later on I'll probably blog some more. This is becoming a sick obession. Blogging is an addiction....hmmmm....intresting. Well besides all that, my day was pretty cold. It's really cold here in NJ now too....boo. Thursday, December 28, 2000 - 06:19 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Music and Anger
Today, well in the beginning was pretty boring. But that was in the afternoon. My friend came over today and for Christmas I got Chicken Run which happens to be a very funny movie, and J's 2nd CD In Love. The point is that I fell in love with the lyrics that J was singing.She has this one song called Confession which I dediecate to Kang Ta my An Chil Hyun. The lyrics are not by me, but J but I took the tym to write it and get my Babydoll Haya to teach me the html so don't take them without my permission. When I look into your eyes and see All I see is you and me Can't you see the want written in my heart It's all about you Love to hear your voice at night It softly calling out my name Boy you're sending chills straight down my spine With your caresses You get me fiening for your love You're all I'm thinking of Baby never leave me Can't you see, you're all I want oh yeah Maybe you were sent from above Baby, know you're all I'm dreaming of When I look into your eyes and see All I see is you and me Can't you see the want within my heart It's all about you If you hold me in your arms tonight Boy I'll make you feel just right Stay with me, you'll never need to find another lover My reflection in your eyes So softly takes my breath away Boy you fill me up with your sweet love There is no other I love this song. I heard it so thought of Kang Ta. But I continued to enjoy the rest of the CD. When I feel more sad then angry I'll write the sad break up songs. J sings sooooo damn well. Granted my friend Amy is tired of her, but hey, I love her. I think she looks like my Babydoll Haya. It was freakin me out when I noticed it o.O When I was done listening to J I was getting down wit Seo Tajii. (I finally figured out his name) I probably spelled that wrong too. Anyway, as a non-Korean myself, I sure do have a lot of love for the musice. I don't understand why. But it's not jus K-pop I get down with. I luv J-rock. Mostly Gackt. He's sexy. And talented. I just love that in a man. Basically this blog is me talking about how much I appericate music that comes from something else other then H.O.T. Though granted if I had the choice between J and H.O.T, Kang Ta wins hands down. Now why the anger you may ask? Well it turns out that my stupid compy ate 10 files I had saved on my recent fic Mo Deun Gut. (It means "Everything") And my disk was erased so everything I had written, from the pro to chapter 19 was all erased. I was so pissed. Now I have to re-do it. T.T19 chapters gone. Luckily since I have AOL I can just go to my sent mail and get back 9 chapters. But I got set back the 10 I was already ahead. Sucks to be me right now. Well anyway, back to the music for a little bit longer before I have to get off for the night. Right now I'm listening to Gackt's Ma Cheri which I also like. I like his piano solo's a lot. Mostly because I apperciate the classical touch and classical music in general. That's why I loved H.O.T's I-yah so much. Though a friend of mine sed you can't remix Mozart, but I think H.O.T did it quite well. I also like Eun Ji Won's new CD, G because well...he's just an over all sexy guy and it sounded pretty damn phat. I didn't like him when he was a Jekkie kid. I had nutthing against Jekkie actually. I didn't like them, but I didn't hate them either. What made me turn away from Jekkie was THAT BOI Kara likes. But that blog is left for another day. Prolly when I'm mad an junk. Or maybe tomorrow. >) One Luv~* Wednesday, December 27, 2000 - 10:57 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Boredum and Frustration
Okay so I decided to do this again. I was begging Kara before to help me because I'm unbelievable slow when it comes to anything that has to do with computers....she didn't believe me. She sed I just didn't want to learn...well I showed her. It's a pretty slow day today. A friend of mine is going to come over today so I can get my extremly late Xmas gift. Oh joy I already know what I got but that's good because I hate surprises. I'm suppost to be writing but I stopped because I got four IM's up. T.T people frustrate me as always. And I miss Kara. It's about 4 in the afternoon here I always forget when she wakes up over there. T.T we all know she's from the Philipiens. Yes I so misspelled that! Anyway...I better get to writting. I have a whole day ahead of me. I decieded to do this and I have no idea why...I should be writting. Okay I'm off. Wednesday, December 27, 2000 - 04:06 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ]
Flesh and Darkness
My very first page entry. Do forgive the spelling mistakes and such. I do suck a lot at spelling. Kara could tell you that. =P I had such drama thinking up of a page name for this thing. I wanted to laugh and scream all at once because of it. Kara made me laugh a few times then she sed do something goofy. Um no. So I decided on this. Before everyone starts to wonder and say, hey that's not you at all, I guess I should explain. My taste runs morbid and deep. ^-^ You can see in my forum, Delphain, which I now have more things to take care of, what a pain in the ass, it's all black, which happens to be my favorite color and if you see the banner that my lovely Babydoll Haya made...well you can see why darkness is part of this title. Tee hee. And I can be vicious to THAT BOI Kara is madly in love with. I try not to be to her cuz then I make her sad and I don't want to make my Kara sad *glompz* Love her to liddo itty bitty pieces. Not THAT BOI though. I'm sorry so can't stand him. Certain blogs here will be hating on him to the fullest. *Dun worry Kara I'll put a BIG sign that sez NOT FOR KARA* Tee hee. As for the flesh part, anyone who read my work knows how much I love writting about skin. >D Hell I wrote a fic called Skin. I like the word flesh though. It sounds...I dunno it sounds nicer...speaking of writting I should be writting now but I decided to do this instead. I was listening to Glay's Happiness which Donna Mira reccomended to me. ^_^ She's rite its a good song. Besides my beloved who I will kill and fight for, Kang Ta *bowing at his presense* ^^;;;;;;;; I luv Gackt. Wooo *does 1Tym dance* He's hot. So sexy. Me and Haya already agreed that we're gonna eat him. >D tasty treat of the flesh... MWhahahaa >D Tuesday, December 26, 2000 - 11:38 p.m. - kang ta's baby [ email ] [ back up ] |
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